Survivors
by honeyMellon
Summary: Rumors were, Hisagi-senpai rarely ever attended classes nowadays. He used to lead training sessions, but now his spot remained achingly empty. Someone needs to bring the guy out of his funk, Renji thought. It might as well be him. If anyone could share Hisagi's burden, it'd be him. Oneshot.


**Just revisiting my original OTP. :)**

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The entire ordeal seemed like a nightmare, but it wasn't his own close brush with death that haunted Renji. That, he could deal with. It were the screams - god, those final screams of the two slain seniors that still rang in his ears months afterwards, shrill and filled with horror before they were cut off abruptly.

Kira seemed to suffer similarly, his already-pale skin looking almost ashen these days. Momo, brave little Momo, was the only one who didn't wake up drenched in cold sweat in the middle of the night. Renji suspected it was because she was the one who truly had the courage to stay and fight. He and Kira, they only stayed because of Momo. Without her, they would've fled.

Without her, Hisagi-senpai would be dead.

Renji sighed and turned to his side, his eyes wide despite the hour. It was another sleepless night, just one of many that he'd had to endure since the incident. He knew, a few doors away down the hall, Kira would be tossing in his bed as well, just as tormented by the deaths of Kanisawa-senpai and Augo-senpai.

His mind flitted once again to the other senior. The one who survived - Hisagi Shuuhei. The man was lucky to have kept his eye, Renji had heard. He had seen the senior only once after the attack, and had caught a glimpse of the scars that everyone were talking about, only just, before Hisagi-senpai disappeared into his dorm room.

Rumors were, Hisagi-senpai rarely ever attended classes nowadays. He used to lead training sessions, but now his spot remained achingly empty. Someone, an idiot from Renji's class, said that senpai was probably feeling depressed because he had let his friends die.

Renji had gotten a detention for punching the guy in the face, but it had to be done.

Hisagi-senpai didn't need this kind of shit going around about him. The hollows had appeared out of nowhere, they never stood a chance. But Renji knew how it felt to carry survivor's guilt. Hell, he hardly even knew the two seniors. He could only imagine what plagued Hisagi-senpai's dreams at night.

Renji turned, yet again, onto his other side. All these thoughts about Hisagi wasn't helping. He kept seeing the older man's eyes in his head. The emptiness in them haunted Renji. He clenched his eyes closed and willed himself to think about something else - happier things - but again and again his thoughts wandered back to the senior, until all he could think of were scars, grey eyes, and that damn '69' tattoo.

"Fuck!"

He sat up, swearing in frustration, and then impulsively, he swung his legs over the edge of his bed and stood up. Somewhere in his tired, muddled mind, he was thinking, _someone_ needed to bring Hisagi out of his funk. It might as well be him, Renji thought, shrugging on his sleeping robe. He was there, after all. If anyone could share the burden, it'd be him.

Emboldened by the thought, Renji sneaked into the senior's floor, eyes wide and alert for the night patrol. The last thing he needed was to explain what he was doing lurking around the dormitory in the middle of the night.

It took him a few minutes and lots of squinting in the dark before he found Hisagi's room. And it wasn't till he was standing outside the room banging on the door did it really register in his head that this was a Very Bad Idea. He faltered mid-knock, suddenly aware of how quiet it was around him.

Maybe he should leave…

"Abarai?"

Too late, the door creaked open, and Hisagi peeked out, bleary eyed and clad only in a thin, flimsy-looking sleeping robe tied haphazardly at the waist. He might as well not bother, really - the way the robe hung loosely on his frame left little to imagination.

Renji stared, his mouth suddenly running dry. Even in the semi-darkness, he could make out the toned, graceful lines on the senior's body. And was that...just barely visible in the shadows, nestled in...

Hisagi cleared his throat.

Renji startled and straightened up, blushing madly. Now, why was he here again...?

Oh, right.

"How are you doing, senpai?" he blurted, his words coming out in a rush.

There was a beat of silence, then, "You came all the way here..." Hisagi squinted at something in his room, and then looked back at Renji in bewilderment. "...at three in the morning, to ask how I am?"

Renji felt his cheeks grow warm as he nodded. He looked down at his bare feet and resisted the urge to fidget. Well, fuck, this _was_ a Very Bad Idea. He should _definitely_ leave, before he embarrassed himself any further…

"Why?"

Renji's eyes snapped up, confused. "What do you mean why?"

"Why do you care?" Anger flashed through Hisagi's eyes. "Do you pity me? Is that it?" He stopped before continuing in a mocking tone, "Poor Hisagi-senpai...look at how sad and lonely he is now that he's gotten his friends killed..."

"What? No!" Renji exclaimed, aghast.

"Then _why_?" The senior demanded. He took a threatening step towards Renji.

Renji stood his ground and stared right back at the older man. "Because we're in this together," he said finally. "I can't let you...I mean, you shouldn't have to shoulder this by yourself."

His voice seemed to echo in the hallway. For a second, Renji expected to see the night guard come running to see what the commotion was about. But no one came, and it was silent around them except for their heavy breathing. They glowered at each other, bodies taut with tension.

"So you decided to come cheer me up? Make me feel better?" Hisagi asked, finally breaking eye contact.

Something in the senior's voice sent a chill down Renji's spine. Danger, his instincts warned. When the man took another step closer, Renji had to grit his teeth to stop himself from fleeing. He wouldn't be a coward. If a fight was what Hisagi-senpai needed to get everything out of his system, Renji would gladly oblige, even if he knew that he didn't stand a chance against the older man.

Renji squinted, trying to decipher the expression on the senior's face. It was impossible. "Err, yes?" he replied carefully.

"Hmm, how nice of you."

This time, when Hisagi came even closer, Renji gave in to his instincts - he took a step back. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on their ends, and his heart was beating so fast and loud he swore even the other man could hear it.

"Where are you going?" Hisagi purred. He reached out slowly, his fingertips ghosting over Renji's chest, then his collarbone, and then over his shoulder and down his arm, barely touching but enough to send Renji's skin tingling.

Renji's breath hitched in his throat as he froze. His robe was so thin that he could feel the other man's body heat even through those featherlight touches. His pulse, already racing as it was, skyrocketed.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit. What the fuck was Hisagi doing...

A pair of hot, moist lips suddenly sealed over his, and Renji's thoughts grounded to a halt. The fingers that had been so gentle not a minute ago now dug painfully into his skin as the older man pressed their bodies together.

Renji stood stock still, his body rigid in shock, but Hisagi-senpai didn't seem to mind. With his other arm, he grabbed hold of Renji's hair and tilted his head, then he deepened the kiss, his tongue flicking out to tease Renji's lips apart. And Renji let him, his mind still too stunned to fully register what was happening. But when the older man let out a loud moan and thrust up roughly against his body, Renji finally snapped out of it. His eyes widened.

"What are you - mmph!"

Renji's muffled yell was silenced immediately and he was suddenly slammed into the wall, the impact on his back hard enough to knock the breath out of his lungs. It had happened so fast that he didn't have time to react, and before he could even suck in his next breath, Hisagi's knee was between his legs and the man was grinding into his crotch. The growing hardness under that robe was unmistakable.

The realization sent heat rushing to Renji's cheeks, especially when he felt himself responding.

Hisagi must've felt it too, because he chuckled softly against the redhead's mouth. He broke the kiss, his teeth tugging harshly on Renji's lower lip before he pulled away. When he looked up, the hunger in his eyes sent a shiver down Renji's spine.

"So?" Hisagi whispered, his voice deep and husky. "What are you waiting for? Aren't you gonna cheer me up?"

The senior was so close that Renji could feel his breath against his cheek. Even in the semi darkness, the three new scars were vivid against Hisagi's face. Renji looked away quickly as soon as he realized he was staring, but that only brought his eyes to the '69' tattoo on the older man's cheek. That, and the feeling of Hisagi's erection pressing up against his thigh, made him blush even brighter. He silently cursed himself for being so sensitive and inexperienced. Just a little contact and he was already rearing to go like a teenager with raging hormones.

Still, this wasn't what he signed up for when he came here.

"Not like this," Renji said, after taking a deep breath to compose himself. As it was, it came out wobbly and not the least bit convincing.

Hisagi leaned closer and murmured, "Like what, then?"

Renji blinked rapidly. He hadn't thought that far really... Right at that moment, Hisagi rolled his hips and let out a throaty moan right in his ear, and Renji's attempt at speech derailed completely. His heart was beating so fast he was beginning to feel light-headed. It didn't help that all the blood in his body seemed to have rushed down south. He squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to calm down, but it wasn't working because Hisagi wouldn't stop rocking against him.

Then lips descended on his again and this time Renji couldn't quite hold in a moan of his own. He felt the older man smile against his mouth.

"That's more like it," Hisagi husked.

The redhead shivered as Hisagi's hands slowly slipped into the folds of his robes. They caressed his skin, gentle as a lover's touch, until they came to the swell of his ass. The senior's grip turned firm, squeezing down on the cheeks and spreading them suggestively. Renji's knees promptly went weak.

"Let's take this inside, shall we?"

As if in a trance, Renji let the older man lead him into the dorm room. The inside was spartan, the only personal artifact being a sword propped against the wall next to the bed. And that was where Hisagi steered him, half pushing and half pulling. At some point between the door and the bed, Renji lost his robe, but he didn't find out until his bare back hit the rumpled sheets on the mattress.

"Wait-" Renji felt a moment of panic as he realized how vulnerable he was pinned beneath the senior's body. Even though Renji was easily ten pounds heavier, Hisagi had his wrists and legs trapped.

The older man ignored his plea and kissed him instead. Renji felt the struggle fizzle out of his body as Hisagi-senpai seemed to melt against him. The senior's mouth was hot and wet and tasted faintly of tea, and before Renji could stop himself he was kissing back, his hands reaching up to tangle in Hisagi's hair. They were just the right length for pulling and he took full advantage of that.

When they finally broke for air, Renji was breathless and no longer sure why he was fighting this anymore. Blood roared in his ears and he was harder than he had ever been before. Hisagi's hands were _everywhere_ \- in his hair, sliding slowly down his chest, over his stomach, and then a fist was suddenly around his cock and pumping in fast, steady strokes. He arched up into the older man, moans falling freely from his lips as pleasure rushed through his limbs in crashing waves. And then - ah, shit, he was getting close...so close…

He nearly sobbed when Hisagi let go suddenly. He jerked, groaning hoarsely, hips thrusting up instinctively in search of that warmth, that skillful touch. His face flushed, embarrassed by his own body's reaction.

"God, you're so beautiful like this," Hisagi whispered, his voice thick with arousal. He got up on his knees and clambered towards the top of the bed, and for the first time Renji got a good, close-up view of what he had only had glimpses before. Long, thick, and as elegant as the rest of Hisagi-senpai, Renji stared at it in fascination while the senior fumbled with something under the pillow.

When Hisagi withdrew his hand and revealed a small vial clutched in his fist, Renji blushed. He had a good idea what the older man had in mind. It was new, something he had only heard of but never tried. He thought of confessing his inexperience to Hisagi, but before he had the chance to, Hisagi was already scooting down towards his feet, pressing kisses along Renji's torso as he went. And then warm, wet lips took him in, all the way until Renji felt the tip of his cock hit the back of Hisagi's throat. His mouth fell open, overwhelmed by the new sensation. His toes curled as Hisagi sucked, the insides of his cheeks smooth and snug around Renji's throbbing length.

The older man was relentless, and Renji could do nothing else but cling on to the sheets and ride the pleasure. Between Hisagi's wicked tongue and just a hint of teeth, Renji was lost. He felt his orgasm build swiftly, the familiar pressure coiling low in his belly… But once again, just as relief was almost within reach, it was taken from him. Renji nearly howled.

Hisagi got up, breathing hard, cheeks tinged bright pink. "Need you now," he panted. He wiped his lips, then with shaking hands he unscrewed the top of the vial.

Renji's throat tightened, and he felt another flash of panic. Staring at Hisagi's cock, he wondered frantically how _that_ could possibly fit in _there._ Distracted, he didn't notice what Hisagi was doing until cold, slippery hands suddenly closed over his erection. His yelp of surprise turned into a long shaky moan when Hisagi's hand started moving again. He felt weightless, his surroundings melting away from his mind and his senses narrowing down to those slow, sensual strokes.

And then, without a word of warning, the hand disappeared, replaced by something a whole lot tighter and, and, oh... Renji's eyes popped wide open as he watched his cock slide into the senior, inch by tiny inch at an agonizingly slow pace. Hisagi's face scrunched up in concentration. Short, panting grunts slipped through gritted teeth until finally, their thighs met and Renji was fully sheathed inside.

It took a few moments before Renji could breathe properly again, and when he did, he grabbed Hisagi's shoulders and pulled him down to capture his lips, all remaining reservations forgotten. the older man groaned into the kiss, his hands splayed on Renji's chest as he leaned forward. For a moment, they stayed still, then Hisagi started moving.

Renji gasped, his hands slipping down to clutch at Hisagi's hips. The senior fit snugly around him, unbelievably hot and smooth and... Oh god, if he thought Hisagi's mouth was good, this was absolutely exquisite, so tight, so slick, and much, much better than he could ever imagine.

The rhythm was slow at first, just a steady, almost lazy rocking of hips. Even so, Renji felt as though he was burning up, his over sensitive body on fire as he thrust up gently. His gaze never left Hisagi's face. With the other man's eyes closed, Renji finally dared to let his eyes linger on the three vicious scars, evidence of their close brush with death. It made his heart ache thinking how Hisagi would have to live with this reminder for the rest of his life, having to relive his friends' terrible fate every time he looked into the mirror.

And then things heated up quickly and Renji found himself beginning to lose his breath trying to match the senior's pace. For every downwards press from Hisagi, Renji parried with a sharp snap of his hips. The senior seemed not to care that the walls of his room were probably paper thin, and Renji was enjoying the sounds the other man was making too much to do anything about it. He loved that Hisagi groaned with every thrust, and when Hisagi started to moan his name, Renji nearly lost it, the muscles of his abdomen seizing as he gasped and struggled to hold back.

"T-touch me," Hisagi gasped. He pulled Renji's hand away from his hip over to his weeping length, where he guided the redhead's fingers to wrap around it.

Renji tried to follow Hisagi's rhythm, to match each stroke with every fall and rise. His efforts were clumsy, the urgency of his own need throwing his coordination off. But Hisagi didn't seem to mind. The senior threw his head back, eyes fluttering closed, his face scrunched up as he raced towards release.

Renji felt more than saw the moment it happened. He gasped, his hand clutching Hisagi's hip in a vice-like grip as the tight passage pulsed around his cock. Mere seconds later Hisagi let out a hoarse cry and went rigid, his thighs clenching around Renji's hips. As warm seed coated Renji's fist and dripped onto his belly, the wave of pleasure crested inside him, and, with one last thrust, he joined Hisagi, his release flowing out of him in a rush.

Hisagi collapsed on him, groaning groggily. Too tired and sated to move, Renji let the older man lay there as he basked in post-orgasm bliss. He had absolutely no words to describe how good that had been, he just knew that he had never come so hard in his life.

A long time later, after Renji had nearly dozed off a few times, Hisagi finally stirred. He slid off of Renji, grunting, and landed heavily next to him. There was only silence between them as they both stared up at the ceiling. Renji could already feel the guilt rolling off of the older man, and he hated it with a passion. Still, he felt more than a little confused, so he waited, not quite knowing what to say.

Should he just walk away now that he had apparently 'cheered' Hisagi up? His heart was saying no, that he wanted to do it again and again, not because he simply wanted a good lay, but because he wanted to soothe that ache, even if it was temporary. His mind, though, was telling him that he was being foolish. Hisagi merely needed to let off some steam, and Renji happened to be a convenient distraction.

Then the older man turned around. Renji took one look at the reddened eyes and knew at once what he wanted to do. Hisagi opened his mouth to speak, undoubtedly to apologize, but before he could utter a word, Renji sealed his lips with a kiss. Hisagi went still and tense for a few heartbeats, then, when Renji cupped his cheek and pressed their foreheads together, he relaxed, a sigh escaping from his lips.

Convenient distraction or not, Renji vowed he would mend this broken heart, little by little, even if it took him an eternity. They were in this together, and they would weather it together - the nightmares, the gossip, the fear. Together, they would be strong.

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 **THE END**


End file.
